Cul de Cuvée: 18 March 2023

Bluntly-curated bits from the world of drink, served up "mostly fresh".

The big news of late is the collapse of Silicon Valley Bank which, the folks at the bank are stressing was due to people causing a run on the bank despite their being financially solid. That's all true to a large degree but at the same time, they bought into some riskier, long-term bonds to make more money which gave people an unjustified yet still foundational reason for being spooked.

What does this have to do with wine? They lend to a great many wineries in California and as such, they produce their annual "State of the Wine Industry" report. One does have to wonder that if a bank seems to have issues in how to be a bank, then they might have issues in understanding drinking trends such as the constant, sky-is-falling claim that young people aren't buying wine. They are and they'll buy more in the future when they're... dunno, "older".

Bulk, bulk baby. Or at least that's what importers have been thinking as bulk imports continue to rise in the US more so than any other sector. Keep that in mind when you wonder why the 'Señor Blanco' Sauvignon Blanc doesn't have any PDO labelling, or cork, and there's a funnel taped to the box.

Apparently Nicolas Cage will be releasing a Bourbon. The release of said Bourbon is in fact so hotly anticipated that the sequel (with a working title of, "More Bourbon") has already been announced in a straight-to-video release.

As we well know, on November 3rd, 2020, over 74 million people in the US officially lost their sense of taste although they might never have had it to start with. In terms of other senses however, we're seeing that it's the city life which is causing us to lose our sense of smell.

Oh, India is growing as a wine market is it? It feels like I might have mentioned this... oh yes, in 2019 because while everyone in wine has been ga-ga over the Chinese market for the last two decades, they were ignoring a country and people that actually do like to drink wine and not just buy expensive forgeries to bribe with give as gifts.

And the Skakira-Piqué saga continues because of course it does and one enterprising company in Valladolid, Spain called, Vino de Ángeles has released wines (CA) inspired by Shakira's takedown song. Bless them and their profit-oriented dreams based upon someone else's domestic problems.

Is Whiskey Dick a thing? Perhaps we shant ever know, but it's a fact that Whiskey Fungus is very much real and gumming up Jack Daniels's expansion plans. Will there be a potential shortage in airport Duty Free's around the world? Too early to tell.

Ever wondered what else we could do with old wine corks beyond making gifts for your family that they'll awkwardly accept and then put on the mantle above the TV to mock you? Well ponder this eternal question no more as a company is turning corks into insoles!

US courts have decided that cheese producers in the US can use the term 'gruyere' whenever they want to because as we all know, American 'gruyere' is soooooo much like the French and Swiss ones. Next thing you know the Russians will claim that only they have the right to use the name, 'Champagne', unless the Americans have been all over too, which they have.

Why has there been so much growth in Sauvignon Blanc? Dunno as apparently it's not just due to bulk wine imports. Perhaps there's been parallel growth in the Amalgamated Cougar Index?

It's never too late to yank the Sherry & Grandma trope out of its grave because it never gets old does it?! Ha ha, I'm quaking with laughs in my performance cork-based insoles! Erg. Poor Sherry...

You thought there wasn't going to be a Ukraine story? Well you're dead-ass wrong because we've recently passed the one-year anniversary of this most recent part of the invasion (the war has been going on since 2014 remember) and a few people took a detailed look at the winemaking in this state of war.

Apparently a beer in Australia can potentially have more alcohol than it states on the label. Given the country and that this is a beer we're talking about, I fail to see the problem. I mean, it's not bulk Sauvignon Blanc for god's sake.

Hey y'all, go and get back on the Napa wine train! Unless of course you're a black woman because you know, only white people get to have a good time drinking on a train. If you say otherwise, then you're just 'woke' even if one has no idea what that means.

Until we meet again, up in the cul of the cuvée.