Cul de Cuvée: Ain't no cocaine sharks in the Seine

The recently-random bits.

We at the CdC come to you from deep in the heart of summer with a special, Olympics Edition because yes, commas matter.

We’re happy to say that the biggest news beyond Snoop Dogg being the formidable Olympic cheerleader the US always needed is the fact that silver medal Italian gymnast, Giorgia Villa is an official ambassador for Parmigiano Reggiano and it’s as fantastic as it sounds. Nothing evokes the beauty of cheese like an elite athlete in her prime, who can probably bend steel beams in half with her pinky finger, sat atop glorious wheels of Parmesan.

It also needs to be noted that the fellow who vomited ten times after a triathlon (which is a race that requires a dip in the crisp, refreshing waters of the River Seine) didn’t do so because of river contamination, but because of this crazy thing called “pushing himself”. You know, like eating the full order of fries even though you’re totally full after the hamburger.

Positive for steroids? Well of course you are because, it’s the hamburgers! At least this is how it works according to China in regards to its athletes, like… several times now. Because as we all know by the look of anyone who hits the burgers with regularity, it’s an easy way to get your daily dose of steroids and get Olympic ripped.